Write for Business - Blog

Mark Twain once said, "When you catch an adjective, kill it." Clifton Fadiman added, "The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech." So why so little respect for adjectives, which, if you remember, are words that modify nouns and pronouns? The two sentences below from business magazines may help answer the question.

The first sentence clearly suffers from, among other things, adjective overload: (The adjectives are italicized.)

• Temporary employees can be the key to completing high-profile, high-impact workplace learning initiatives without adding to the full-time headcount.

The adjectives really pile up before the noun initiatives, don't they? (High-profile and high-impact are nothing more than fancy ways of saying important.) Here's the same basic idea minus most of the adjectives and with a few other changes. It results in a cleaner, less inflated statement.

• Temporary employees can complete important learning initiatives without adding full-time staff.

Here's another sentence to consider:

• The current teacher-centric, classroom-based model for learning is being challenged by society and technology on all fronts.

Again, notice the unnecessary build up of adjectives before the noun model. (Teacher-centric and classroom-based say pretty much the same thing. And we can assume that the writer is referring to the current situation.) Here's this idea stated more simply with fewer adjectives.

• Classroom-based learning is being significantly challenged by society and technology.

So back to the question: Why so little respect for adjectives? From these two examples, we can see that, if overused, adjectives…

1. draw undo attention on themselves, rather than on the two most important parts of a sentence, the subject and verb, and
2. "junk up" the writing, like leaves in a clogged downspout.

Now You Try
Highlight or underline the adjectives in the following sentence. Then rewrite each one so that it expresses a cleaner idea - minus unnecessary adjectives. (See the answer key below.)

1. Traditional, manual cleanup can't match a power washer when removing dirt and grease from difficult, hard-to-reach areas.
2. The designated future industrial site fits within our plan for new, efficient use of available land.

Answers:

1. traditional, manual, power, difficult, hard-to-reach

   Possible revision: Manual cleanup can't match a power washer when removing dirt and grease from hard-to-reach areas.

2. designated, future, industrial, efficient, new, efficient, available

   Possible revision: The industrial site fits within our plan for efficient use of available land. ("Designated" could be kept.)

Final Thought: Writer Frank Verby said, "I used to be adjective happy. Now I cut them with so much severity that I find I have to put a few adjectives back." As you now know, being "adjective happy" is not a good thing, but neither is "cutting them with so much severity." Simply use them with good reason, and in moderation.

- Dave Kemper