Write for Business - Blog

Have you ever bought a used car?

Recently my youngest daughter asked me to look over a used car she was considering buying. The dealer's salesperson smiled and walked us over to it, saying, "Great body. Not a scratch on her." I got in, started the engine, looked over the interior - all in good shape. I got back out, opened the hood and looked at seals, hoses, and so on, then bent down to look at the tires and underbody. The wheel wells were rusted completely through. When I asked the dealer's mechanic about repairing them, he took a look and replied, "The whole underbody is rusted out. I wouldn't feel comfortable selling this car to your daughter."

Now for the other side of the picture. One of the first cars my wife and I owned was a used Buick. Mechanically, that car was wonderful. Cosmetically, it was a mess. The paint was peeling off the roof. The hood had been replaced, and its color didn't match the rest of the car. The rear bumper was falling off and had to be held up with a rope tied inside the trunk. My wife was embarrassed to be seen in the thing, but I loved it: Good on gas, dependable starter even in the coldest weather, a smooth ride, and so on.

Those two cars represent different attitudes about business writing.

Writing teachers often focus on grammar training, punctuation practice, spelling, and correct word usage, as if these were what make writing perform. But this is like paying attention to how a car looks without considering how it runs. A great paint job and leather upholstery do no good if the underbody has rusted through or the engine is broken.

Business leaders often focus on content to the exclusion of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and correct usage, arguing that the only thing that really matters is communication. But this is like driving my old junker back and forth to work. Other people really do care how your ride looks.

Having been a writing teacher, I understand that grammar, punctuation, spelling, and word usage are easiest to grade. Ideas, organization, and voice require more expertise and energy. Working in business, I also understand that communication and delivery speed are essential. Devoting time to proofreading can seem counterproductive. (And maybe we still have some slight resentment toward those teachers who marked up all our papers in school.)

The truth is, of course, that we need both. A piece of writing must be well designed and mechanically sound to communicate. It must have sound ideas, a logical organization, and an appropriate voice for its audience. But it must also look good if we are to be taken seriously. This is where editing and proofreading become important - to ensure correctness in spelling, punctuation, grammar, word choice, and sentence construction. Page design (use of headings, columns, lists, graphics, and so on) is also important, of course, to help readers quickly comprehend your message.

You can find tips about all of these things by using the search box on this site, and more in-depth information in our print publications. You might consider these your toolboxes. Here's wishing you the best on your writing journey.

- Lester Smith

Photo by Ross Griff

Do you often have to write for a supervisor? Or are you, perhaps, a supervisor for whom other people have to write? In either case, it's worth noting that not every textual change is a judgment of the writer's ability. Often, changes are made because of a sense of voice. And voice is something unique to each of us.

In my own work, sometimes I receive and edit text from other writers, and sometimes I have to submit my own writing to superiors. In both cases, textual changes occur. Sometimes it's a matter of correcting errors. (No one can write, edit, and proofread all at the same time. That's why publishing companies have writers, editors, and proofreaders, each focused on a different step.) But just as often, a technically correct piece may be adjusted for tone, perhaps to better match the company's voice.

Certainly it can be exasperating to pour your best work into a piece of writing and then have it changed - perhaps dramatically. We often hear from office writers worried that their jobs might be in jeopardy because of how much their text gets edited. My best advice comes from the Tao te Ching, "Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity." Do your best. Let it go. Fretting never makes things better. Calm - on the other hand - definitely does.

For supervisors reviewing other people's writing, I'd point out again the H.G. Wells quotation above. It hangs above my own desk as a reminder not to change things just for the sake of change. If you do make changes to a draft, be aware of how it reflects upon the writer who submitted it. If the changes are to correct errors, make sure the original writer understands those errors, to avoid them in the future. (This may mean firming up your own understanding of the grammar or punctuation rule involved. I work full time in publishing and frequently have to look things up again.) If you can't explain why a change is being made, ask yourself whether it's really necessary.

I suspect that's what H.G. Wells would ask about my red pen marks above.

- Lester Smith

I’ve long admired the quirky acting style of John Lithgow. So I’m happy to report that the two of us have something in common: We’re both poetry promoters.

Lithgow’s The Poets' Corner: The One-and-Only Poetry Book for the Whole Family is a wonderful introduction to a wide range of verse from across history. Besides the poems themselves—from William Blake, Emily Dickinson, Edgar Allan Poe, Dylan Thomas, and others—the book presents a short historical introduction to each, delivered in Lithgow’s delightful writing style. What’s more, the print book includes a CD with a wide range of celebrities reading these poems, from Lynn Redgrave to Kathy Bates to Morgan Freeman and others. But I particularly recommend the audiobook version, which integrates the histories (in Lithgow’s voice) with those poetry readings. Play it in your car while commuting to and from work. Your life will be the richer.

As for my own promotion of poetry (besides recommending books), in my spare time I’m president of the Wisconsin Fellowship of Poets. It’s a small way of thanking Wisconsin for supporting my own growth as a poet and writer.

You might assume that as a poet I have an innate sense of rhythm and tone. To a certain extent, that’s true. But I’ve learned to always ask someone else to read my work aloud before I submit it for publication. Often, I discover that the rhythm I’ve been hearing in my head isn’t the rhythm other people use. By the same token, where I might imagine an ironic tone, or a gentle one, or something else, my reader may react altogether differently. From reader reaction, then, I’m able to target the weak spots in a piece and work to revise them until the poem accomplishes just what it’s intended to do.

The same is true of business writing. What you think you’ve written isn’t necessarily what your reader understands. This makes peer critique essential. (Seriously, a colleague critiqued this very blog entry before I posted it.) What distinguishes the professional writer at this point is a willingness to lay the blame for any miscommunication on the text, rather than on the reader, and the dedication to refine that text to make things smooth and clear.

Do you ask a peer to read your text before it’s published? If not, give it a try. If the person is hesitant to comment, ask him or her to point out specifically the one strongest thing and the one weakest thing about the piece. That will be a good starting point both for revising your writing and for building a critique relationship.

Be sure to let us know how it works out! Just click the “Comments” link below.

—Les

Last week we celebrated the second week of the NCAA basketball tournament by creating our own "Bizzaro" version of the Sweet 16, but with business writing in mind. In part one of "The Sour Sixteen." we examined eight writing errors that you should steer clear of anytime you're writing important workplace documents. While the NCAA tournament field is down to its Final Four, we'll delve into eight final writing problems. Before we begin, here is a quick look back at the first half of the list. Notably

1. Lack of focus
2. Missing important proper nouns
3. Using slang
4. Forcing artificial language
5. Using the wrong word
6. Missing comma after introductory elements
7. Faulty subject-verb agreement
8. Incorrectly joined sentences

The next four problems concentrate on two important traits of writing, voice and sentence fluency.

9. The writing sounds too informal
   A professional writing voice is a lot like proper business attire. Just as you wouldn't wear a T-shirt and athletic shorts to a formal business meeting, you shouldn't write a memo that includes slang and emoticons. In workplace writing, it is best to avoid an informal voice altogether. An informal voice is characterized by frequent contractions and personal pronouns; humor and slang; and shorthand and emoticons. It is perfectly appropriate to use an informal voice when you're jotting down notes or gathering your thoughts, but when it comes to drafting workplace documents or e-mail, opt for a more formal tone.
10. The writing sounds too formal
    Yes, there is also a point when business writing can sound too formal, or stiff. Grasping this point may seem contradictory after reading the previous rule about informal voice. However, there is an appropriate medium between the two. We call it "The Business Middle." The Business Middle is a conversational but professional voice. It uses friendly and natural expressions but is still free of humor and slang. Notice the difference in these two passages:

    Formal and stilted: This correspondence is in reference to the position of Software-Training Specialist at Evergreen Medical Center. My decision is to agree to the conditions of employment for that position that were expressed to me…

    The Business Middle: Thank you for offering me the position of Software-Training Specialist at Evergreen Medical Center. I am happy to accept the position at the annual salary of…

    The Business Middle is appropriate for most business letters, workplace e-mails, and memos. If you're writing a more formal document, such as one dealing with legalities or bad news, it's best to use a more serious and objective tone. One final thought on the levels of formality: If you're struggling to find a happy medium between informal and formal voice, it's best to err on the side of formal. After all, it's always less awkward to be a bit overdressed rather than noticeably underdressed.
11. The writing is too negative
    Another problem relating to voice occurs when the writing comes across as overly negative. A negative tone is one that focuses on a problem, rather than a solution; it is accusatory rather than cooperative. Here are some tips for achieving a positive writing voice:
    
    Focus on…
    • The subject, not the personalities of the people involved
    • Solutions, not the problem
    • Strengths, not weaknesses
    • Suggestions, not threats
12. The sentences are too repetitive
    Effective writing flows smoothly from sentence to sentence. If you start all your sentences the same way, you risk creating choppy writing. Choppy writing is predictable and hard to read, which is why you should vary the beginnings and length of your sentences. Consider the difference in fluency in the following examples:

    Repetitive: The report shows that first-quarter earnings continue to improve. The report's findings show that we should reinvest.

    Varied: The report shows a marked improvement in first-quarter earnings. If earnings continue to rise, we should reinvest.

    To improve the fluency of your own writing, consider different ways to begin sentences, or ways to combine ideas.

The last set of errors focuses on English language rules. Business writing and business correspondence must follow the correct use of punctuation, capitalization, spelling, words, and grammar. Sometimes these language errors are hard to spot, but even the most obscure error can be bad for business. As you will see, the following mistakes can create confusion, which prevents clear and straightforward communication.

13. Unnecessary shift in tense
    A shift in tense happens when a writer uses two different tenses in the same sentence when only one is needed. Such an error can distort when something is happening.

    Shift in tense: I prepared the invoices and verify all the expense reports.

    Corrected: I prepared the invoices and verified all the expense reports.

    Make sure the tense (past, present, or future) remains consistent throughout each sentence.
14. Indefinite pronoun reference
    An indefinite pronoun reference results when it is unclear which word or phrase a pronoun refers to.

    Unclear: Once they transferred to the new site, the new owners gave the workers a new benefit package. (They could refer to the workers or the owners.)

    Clear: Once the employees transferred to the new site, the new owners gave the workers a new benefit package.

    You can fix an indefinite pronoun reference by using more specific words to rename the subject or by rearranging the sentence.
15. Missing comma in compound sentence
    A compound sentence made up of two independent clauses (clauses that can stand alone as sentences) needs a comma and a conjunction to properly link the two clauses. Oftentimes, writers will ignore the comma before the conjunction, even though the conjunction itself is not strong enough to hold the two clauses.

    Incorrect: I was unhappy with the conversation so I called Jim back to resolve our disagreement.

    Correct: I was unhappy with the conversation, so I called Jim back to resolve our disagreement.

16. Missing commas around additional information
    When a group of words adds information that is not needed to understand the sentence, you should set off the extra information with commas.

    Example: Third Community Bank, which was founded in 1957, is opening three new locations in the area.

    Remember, commas are needed only when the phrase (extra information) can be left out of the sentence without changing the meaning of the sentence.

So there you have 16 writing errors that are bad for business. Think about them the next time you're assigned a writing project at work. By making a point to avoid them, you'll improve the transparency of your communication. And that's good for business.

—Tim Kemper

Photo by Frank Douwes

A colon is used to introduce a list.

A good employee needs two things: a good attitude and a willingness to learn.

Note: Don't use a colon to introduce a list if no summary words are used. (The summary words two things appear in the sentence above; there are no summary words in the sentence below.)

A good employee needs a positive attitude and a willingness to learn.

For more business-writing tips, browse our blog or use the search box atop the page. Or purchase our handy Proofreader's Guide ebook or Write for Business handbook.